Over It

Sounding Off

It’s time to put away the poetry and get real!

It is a little after 1am and I should be in bed…My eyes are heavy, my body is tired but I just can’t seem to fall asleep. I have so much on my mind. I just feel like crying. I hate everything about my life. Maybe if I were more masculine…lighter…more handsome I would not be so invisible…. I’m dying here and nobody seems to notice. Each day my personality …the essence of who I truly am slowly erodes away. What used to be gentle and sweet has become rough and unsavory. I’ve become angry, bitter…calloused. This is what a life lived without love can do to a person. I used to tell myself that tomorrow would be better, but I lost faith in dreams long ago.
I did not choose the cards which I’ve been dealt. I don’t think I would have consciously decided to endure ridicule. Life offers no easy path for men who happen to love other men. Those vain unemotional creatures who are just as lonely as you are…who are just as damaged as you are, but will deny you the warmth of their company, who are more apt to trample over your rotting corpse trying to get at the next hot piece than to caress or give comfort… Angry? Understatement!! I’m way past all of that. I’m fed up.
I want to know who coined the terms Masculine and Feminine…and who decided to label me the latter simply because Id rather write poetry and discuss current events than scratch my genitals in public like some unsociable Neanderthal. It’s not that I attribute these negative things ( farting and the like)to what I assume are traits of the uber masculine …I’m just tired of having it thrown in my face that it’s something which I lack, an essential vitamin that for whatever reason my body just cannot metabolically create on its own.
Well I know one man who is my friend…Jose Cuervo and even though I really do not drink tonight I think I’d rather imbibe a bit of his poison for a while…Lord knows I’ve swallowed enough BS from other men to last a life time.