I have allowed things from my past to hold me captive for far too long…Today I have decided that its time I freed myself. I just have to do a little editing of the people that I have allowed into my life. I have realized that sometimes people are only meant to play a small role in life’s grand production, do their strutting and fretting then quietly exit the stage. I am so tired of trying to do last minute rewrites, changing my scripted purpose in an effort to keep people around. I am so over that. I’ve had ample amounts of time to reflect this morning…time to strategize my plan. I don’t want to sound dire, but at this point I honestly believe its do or die. I’m anxious to be returning to school spring quarter maybe then I will actually start to feel that I’m making progress instead of dissolving here in this stagnancy. But until then I will go on painting on smiles, shrugging off my sorrows ….I will go on pretending that my heart is calloused, that these toils I endure have not gotten the better of me. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to go back in time, to remember the smell of honeysuckle blooming in spring, to leap and worry not if there’d be earth beneath me. I am mourning the death of my youth.
©T’jai 2011
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1 comments:
Sometimes we have to be bold and "clean out the closet". Wishing you only the best. Take care and handle your business.
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